As it turns out, everyday activities can be new experiences. May 28 by metacognitionist I was in the middle of a week of vacation and this girl was increasingly into me. We make plans to go to the beach at night to watch fireworks and I can tell minutes in she wants to sit on my boystick that night. The more it becomes apparent she wants to do the no pants dance, the more I realize I have to grow tail.
So, after the fireworks, she invites me to her place which sounds great, but I need to lay cable. And Im not rocking her tiny motel room toilet with corndogs and chinese food right before poking her. So I told her that I wanted to go swimming first. I didnt expect her to follow me. I should have seen it coming. She thought it was romantic.
And, thats what happened. I shat standing up in the Carribbean Ocean while flirting and hugging a naked hot girl. The funny thing about pooping in the ocean is that crap floats. I could feel the turds tugging up when they were still attached, and every time I cut free a candy bar it floated to the surface. I would lean forward in the hopes I wouldn’t feel a fecal torpedo scrape up my back. This is when I would push her or tackle her out to sea. I was herding her against the current of my fleet of food canoes.
I used the salt as an excuse to shower, to which she joined me. From that point on the vacation was a haze of room service, candlelight, me putting things in fantastic places.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-05-05 07:30 pm (UTC)(link)28
by metacognitionist
I was in the middle of a week of vacation and this girl was increasingly into me. We make plans to go to the beach at night to watch fireworks and I can tell minutes in she wants to sit on my boystick that night. The more it becomes apparent she wants to do the no pants dance, the more I realize I have to grow tail.
So, after the fireworks, she invites me to her place which sounds great, but I need to lay cable. And Im not rocking her tiny motel room toilet with corndogs and chinese food right before poking her. So I told her that I wanted to go swimming first. I didnt expect her to follow me. I should have seen it coming. She thought it was romantic.
And, thats what happened. I shat standing up in the Carribbean Ocean while flirting and hugging a naked hot girl. The funny thing about pooping in the ocean is that crap floats. I could feel the turds tugging up when they were still attached, and every time I cut free a candy bar it floated to the surface. I would lean forward in the hopes I wouldn’t feel a fecal torpedo scrape up my back. This is when I would push her or tackle her out to sea. I was herding her against the current of my fleet of food canoes.
I used the salt as an excuse to shower, to which she joined me. From that point on the vacation was a haze of room service, candlelight, me putting things in fantastic places.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-05-05 07:35 pm (UTC)(link)but lolol
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-05-05 07:36 pm (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-05-05 07:36 pm (UTC)(link)actually nauseous rn
no subject
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-05-05 07:42 pm (UTC)(link)ffs just say 'i need to make a phone call', go poop in a different toilet like a normal person
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-05-05 07:44 pm (UTC)(link)no subject
why would he
wat