Tommy stood in line at the grocery store, impatiently waiting to place his dried lentils and kale on the conveyor belt. His restless eyes darted around until, to his horror, they landed on the packages of steaks the customer in front of him had unloaded on the belt. He grimaced and muttered “fucking bloodmouth” under his breath, but secretly, the lust within him swelled. He shifted uncomfortably. The other patron turned around and looked him over, unimpressed. Tommy’s face burned with simultaneous passion and embarrassment. He had to do something. He couldn’t allow this lowly bloodmouth to get away with eating meat and making him feel inferior.
“Hey!” he shouted, voice cracking. He continued anyway, gaining confidence in his self-righteousness. “You fucking bloodmouth monster! Don’t you know that animals die so you can eat precious meat, you murderer! People kill them. It is also cheaper and healthier and sexier to be vegan! Why aren’t you going vegan? Ugh, you are such a terrible person! Go vegan right nowww!”
Faces turned to gawk at the commotion, but the other customer remained unimpressed by Tommy’s tirade. Face flush with anger, Tommy struggled to come up with a cogent argument as store security headed over to remove him.
But it was too late. He was forced to abandon his month’s groceries as security escorted him outside. As he was led to the exit, he again cried out “BLOODMOUTHS!” before being forcibly ejected through the automatic glass doors. He stood outside and glowered through the glass.
Soon, the customer whose meat purchase had sparked his outburst exited the store. Tommy sidled up to him, realizing he’d only have a few minutes before security came back to remove him from the premises completely. He hissed in the man’s ear, “You filthy fucking bloodmouth! Cover me in your carnist cum!”
“Wait, what,” the man responded, surprised by the sudden turn Tommy’s rantings had taken.
“You heard me! I want to bathe in it, you naughty, naughty bloodmouth. God, I feel so dirty thinking of your bloody cum.”
“That isn’t how semen works. It’s- there shouldn’t be blood in it. Maybe you should go to the hospital?”
“Shut up and fill me with it!”
“Oh dear God,” the man whispered, before taking off at a dead sprint toward his car. Fucking vegans.
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(Anonymous) 2012-04-30 08:20 am (UTC)(link)“Hey!” he shouted, voice cracking. He continued anyway, gaining confidence in his self-righteousness. “You fucking bloodmouth monster! Don’t you know that animals die so you can eat precious meat, you murderer! People kill them. It is also cheaper and healthier and sexier to be vegan! Why aren’t you going vegan? Ugh, you are such a terrible person! Go vegan right nowww!”
Faces turned to gawk at the commotion, but the other customer remained unimpressed by Tommy’s tirade. Face flush with anger, Tommy struggled to come up with a cogent argument as store security headed over to remove him.
But it was too late. He was forced to abandon his month’s groceries as security escorted him outside. As he was led to the exit, he again cried out “BLOODMOUTHS!” before being forcibly ejected through the automatic glass doors. He stood outside and glowered through the glass.
Soon, the customer whose meat purchase had sparked his outburst exited the store. Tommy sidled up to him, realizing he’d only have a few minutes before security came back to remove him from the premises completely. He hissed in the man’s ear, “You filthy fucking bloodmouth! Cover me in your carnist cum!”
“Wait, what,” the man responded, surprised by the sudden turn Tommy’s rantings had taken.
“You heard me! I want to bathe in it, you naughty, naughty bloodmouth. God, I feel so dirty thinking of your bloody cum.”
“That isn’t how semen works. It’s- there shouldn’t be blood in it. Maybe you should go to the hospital?”
“Shut up and fill me with it!”
“Oh dear God,” the man whispered, before taking off at a dead sprint toward his car. Fucking vegans.
http://unknowablewoman.tumblr.com/post/22113163708/tumblr-vegans-a-fanfic-that-should-never-have-happened
lol wow
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(Anonymous) 2012-04-30 08:21 am (UTC)(link)WHO
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