what @ tumblr

(Anonymous) 2015-08-01 03:51 am (UTC)(link)
Heterosexuality is a couch. Nobody even bats an eye if you keep it in the living room for everyone to see–it’s simply expected. I mean, where the hell else would you keep it? Hidden in a bedroom? No, that would be weird.

Homosexuality is a bed. Having a bed in a public room is considered weird and gross–you’re expected to keep it in private bedroom you close the door to before anyone else comes over. Because even though there are a million and one things someone can do sitting on a bed that aren’t sexual (and plenty of ways to have sex on a couch), the first and foremost thing anyone associates beds with is sex.

Bisexuality is a Western-style futon. Sometimes it functions like a couch, sometimes it functions like a bed, but whichever position it’s in at the moment, it’s still a goddamn futon. People who want to use it as a couch give you shit for not having a real couch; people who want to use it as a bed give you shit for not having a real bed. It’s acceptable in your living room, but only if you make extra certain to put it in couch position and hide the sheets before company comes over. Otherwise, you’d better hide it in a guest room.

Asexuality is a table. No matter how many times you tell people it’s not meant to be sat on, dickheads with no manners will try to park their nasty asses on it anyway.

Re: what @ tumblr

(Anonymous) 2015-08-01 03:52 am (UTC)(link)
wtf does this even mean

Re: what @ tumblr

(Anonymous) 2015-08-01 03:53 am (UTC)(link)
" How people treat sexual orientation, as explained with furniture. "

Re: what @ tumblr

(Anonymous) 2015-08-01 03:55 am (UTC)(link)
also beds are associated w sleep first not sex

Re: what @ tumblr

(Anonymous) 2015-08-01 03:52 am (UTC)(link)
"Homosexuality[...] weird and gross"

literally all u have to take away from that excerpt

i hate asexy tumblr so much

Re: what @ tumblr

(Anonymous) 2015-08-01 03:54 am (UTC)(link)
reading is hard

Re: what @ tumblr

(Anonymous) 2015-08-01 03:53 am (UTC)(link)
i kind of get it up to the table tbh

Re: what @ tumblr

(Anonymous) 2015-08-01 03:53 am (UTC)(link)
what if u have a studio apartment

Re: what @ tumblr

(Anonymous) 2015-08-01 03:55 am (UTC)(link)
lol who sits on tables

Re: what @ tumblr

(Anonymous) 2015-08-01 03:56 am (UTC)(link)
sa, to add

even in their metaphors their ~oppression is something that doesn't happen

Re: what @ tumblr

(Anonymous) 2015-08-01 03:57 am (UTC)(link)
perhaps you haven't heard of the spinster table movement...

Re: what @ tumblr

(Anonymous) 2015-08-01 03:56 am (UTC)(link)
I don't understand how this does anything but justifies treating gay as "weird" since having a bed in a living room IS weird

Re: what @ tumblr

(Anonymous) 2015-08-01 03:59 am (UTC)(link)
thats what im sayin but apparently OP disagrees

Re: what @ tumblr

(Anonymous) 2015-08-01 03:57 am (UTC)(link)
lunks plz
-metaphorsexual

Re: what @ tumblr

(Anonymous) 2015-08-01 03:59 am (UTC)(link)
found it 4 u:

http://half-sassed.tumblr.com/post/123667064663/how-people-treat-sexual-orientation-as-explained

Re: what @ tumblr

(Anonymous) 2015-08-01 04:01 am (UTC)(link)
> I sass people and RP Light Yagami. Often at the same time.