April 24

[mommysquad]

Hey nonas!



If you were an evil sexy villain, how would you take over the world?

Need anything deleted?

Comments

Re: tw mi/verbal abuse

[(Anonymous)]

ah i'm sorry you have to deal with that, biba. my mom had some boundary issues too but yours sound way more severe.

is your mother in therapy? are you? idk at some point if a person doesn't respect my boundaries, i reevaluate my relationship with them - like not cutting them off completely, but how much time i spend with them, the things i share with them, etc. but doing that with your mom may not be an option and is much harder obviously.

Re: tw mi/verbal abuse

[(Anonymous)]

i'm in therapy - which is why i'm figuring this stuff out and if i had been in therapy earlier, it wouldn't have gone on for so long - i definitely didn't understand that i was indulging her boundary issues until i got into therapy, that's for sure

i can't cut my mother off, but she's so damaging - whenever i visit, i get into a deep depression after i leave, she undermines me at every turn, i have a successful job, i have friends, and i'm doing really well and she just sees me like she was at my age - depressed and damaged, and assumes that my trajectory is just like hers in life.

Re: tw mi/verbal abuse

[(Anonymous)]

yeah it sounds like black-and-white thinking & other stuff i learned in therapy myself

i'm just spitballing here... but there isn't really a way to force other people's thinking to change, aside from communication which your mom obviously isn't really listening to. so maybe try thinking of her negative words as passing you by like a tickertape or a river? (another idea i got from therapy tbh)

because now you are realizing that what she's thinking about you isn't correct, and since you don't have the power to stop her from thinking it and expressing it, you have to use the power you do have which is to try and change your reaction to it?

also with my mom i just had to put certain topics (exhibit a: my weight) "off limits" and be firm about shutting down conversations about it.

i am sorry but i have to run, i do hope this at least gives you something to think about. good luck