mommysquad: (pluto)
mommysquad ([personal profile] mommysquad) wrote in [community profile] hms_anon2012-04-24 01:13 am
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April 24

Hey nonas!



If you were an evil sexy villain, how would you take over the world?

Need anything deleted?
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tw abuse

(Anonymous) 2012-04-24 04:32 pm (UTC)(link)
can i get some advice on how to find/navigate healthy relationships?

since i was 12, i've been through a bunch of relatioships and friendships that were emotionally abusive or manipulative, and i only recently picked out that pattern. my recent relationship just ended, and now i'm feeling kind of hopeless of never being able to find a healthy relationship - i don't know how to be the sort of person who can stand up to people or asserts her needs in a relationship. and i'm a lesbian, so actually finding partners is a bit harder and i've definitely got a 'you don't deserve to have high standards' kind of mindset going

Re: tw abuse

(Anonymous) 2012-04-24 04:33 pm (UTC)(link)
is counselling an option? they might be able to help you counteract that mentality

Re: tw abuse

(Anonymous) 2012-04-24 04:36 pm (UTC)(link)
i've been in/out of counselling for years and can't get it free with my school anymore so idk

unfortunately i also have a tendency to lie to counsellors bc i want to please them and make them think i got better

Re: tw abuse

(Anonymous) 2012-04-24 04:39 pm (UTC)(link)
*hugs* yeah, i've been there

hope u well

Re: tw abuse

(Anonymous) 2012-04-24 04:34 pm (UTC)(link)
you don't necessarily have to be combative or aggressive in a relationship but i think it helps when you meet someone to kind of view them with a critical eye - like say to yourself is this person treating me with courtesy and respect? and factor that into whether you want to explore something with them

Re: tw abuse

(Anonymous) 2012-04-24 04:35 pm (UTC)(link)
i don't have the same issues as you, but i know it helped me to get assertive to start small, like speaking up to servers when i got the wrong food and speaking out more at work

i wish you luck, biba

Re: tw abuse

(Anonymous) 2012-04-24 04:37 pm (UTC)(link)
that would be good tbh, since i definitely have trouble with that

ty

Re: tw abuse

(Anonymous) 2012-04-24 04:39 pm (UTC)(link)
also, some of the dbt stuff regarding interpersonal effectiveness might help

these are like abbreviated therapy notes but it's a place to start:
http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/interpersonal_effectiveness_ha.html
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