yeah it sounds like black-and-white thinking & other stuff i learned in therapy myself

i'm just spitballing here... but there isn't really a way to force other people's thinking to change, aside from communication which your mom obviously isn't really listening to. so maybe try thinking of her negative words as passing you by like a tickertape or a river? (another idea i got from therapy tbh)

because now you are realizing that what she's thinking about you isn't correct, and since you don't have the power to stop her from thinking it and expressing it, you have to use the power you do have which is to try and change your reaction to it?

also with my mom i just had to put certain topics (exhibit a: my weight) "off limits" and be firm about shutting down conversations about it.

i am sorry but i have to run, i do hope this at least gives you something to think about. good luck