i'm in therapy - which is why i'm figuring this stuff out and if i had been in therapy earlier, it wouldn't have gone on for so long - i definitely didn't understand that i was indulging her boundary issues until i got into therapy, that's for sure

i can't cut my mother off, but she's so damaging - whenever i visit, i get into a deep depression after i leave, she undermines me at every turn, i have a successful job, i have friends, and i'm doing really well and she just sees me like she was at my age - depressed and damaged, and assumes that my trajectory is just like hers in life.