nonas, do any of you have issues forgiving an addict in your life? my older sister has been on heroin and meth for years as well as benzos...she used to rage and beat me when she was methed out, say awful and nasty horrible things on benzos, or be emotionally absent on opiates. my family ended up doing everything for her while i got kicked out for being gay, she outed me to get back at me before, and while she's not even recovered she uses a lot of step-rhetoric to tell me i'm holding her back by not forgiving her. i don't know what to do because i love her and have tried to forgive her, but i feel blocked and angry. i know she is sick, but still.
my father was also a heroin addict and she's okay with us never forgiving him and hates him, but gets upset that i have mixed feelings on her. the thing is it gets to me, i feel like a bad person and a piece of shit for hating someone sick, my own MIs don't help in the way i view myself for this.
i'm sorry i don't have any good advice for you even tho i'm in a similar situation bc i've always been strict abt setting my boundaries and not hating myself for it so it'd be kind of like asking someone born rich for money making tips lql
but you definitely aren't a piece of shit for feeling the way you do. even if there was some kind extenuating circumstance making it absolutely 100% not her fault, that doesn't un-wound you and you're absolutely not a bad person for being hurt by this
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tw: drugs
(Anonymous) 2015-07-30 05:58 am (UTC)(link)my father was also a heroin addict and she's okay with us never forgiving him and hates him, but gets upset that i have mixed feelings on her. the thing is it gets to me, i feel like a bad person and a piece of shit for hating someone sick, my own MIs don't help in the way i view myself for this.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2015-07-30 06:01 am (UTC)(link)Re: tw: drugs
(Anonymous) 2015-07-30 06:03 am (UTC)(link)i'm sorry i don't have any good advice for you even tho i'm in a similar situation bc i've always been strict abt setting my boundaries and not hating myself for it so it'd be kind of like asking someone born rich for money making tips lql
but you definitely aren't a piece of shit for feeling the way you do. even if there was some kind extenuating circumstance making it absolutely 100% not her fault, that doesn't un-wound you and you're absolutely not a bad person for being hurt by this