one of the more unexpected shitty aspects of being sober is i cant read fanfic anymore for this obscure fandom i like bc one of the characters is a user and fic that talks abt her using are always one of two types: either the author clearly has never used and ends up writing abt it in this weirdly glorifying, idealistic way that they prob gleaned from movies which is triggering bc its so weirdly romanticized, or the author clearly has used and the realism is so triggering bc it makes me nostalgic for the high

in the grand scheme of things not being able to read fanfic is v small in comparison to how fucked up my life was before, but it's still kind of depressing