nonas, do any of you have issues forgiving an addict in your life? my older sister has been on heroin and meth for years as well as benzos...she used to rage and beat me when she was methed out, say awful and nasty horrible things on benzos, or be emotionally absent on opiates. my family ended up doing everything for her while i got kicked out for being gay, she outed me to get back at me before, and while she's not even recovered she uses a lot of step-rhetoric to tell me i'm holding her back by not forgiving her. i don't know what to do because i love her and have tried to forgive her, but i feel blocked and angry. i know she is sick, but still.

my father was also a heroin addict and she's okay with us never forgiving him and hates him, but gets upset that i have mixed feelings on her. the thing is it gets to me, i feel like a bad person and a piece of shit for hating someone sick, my own MIs don't help in the way i view myself for this.