i feel like i'd either have to come out as gay or just stay straight because idk if i say, "well i like guys, but i dont wanna fuck or be "with" them" if that would translate well, i think whoever i told would just be like "so youre gay" and ive trieddddd so fuckin hard to connect to being gay & listening to stories & getting gay friends & just trying to understand that & at one point in my life i was accepting of the fact that i was gay but later on i realized i felt no connect, like nothing clicked, it all felt like i was picking something because i had to, idk sometimes i feel like im lying to myself as far as my attraction to girls but i feel something there, its soo complicated, like not knowing if youre in denial or not
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